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Do You Have To Give Retirement Speeches?
Do It The Write Way!
Let My Fingers Do Your Talking!
Nancy (Ayanna) Wyatt
Hate to write? Don’t have time?
WHAT A RELIEF!!!
I’ll take that project right off your plate!
People often are called upon to make short speeches and are at a loss as to what to say, while praying not to look like a fool.
Examples include wedding toasts, speaker introductions, retirement or voyage farewells, etc.
When a person does this, without having the benefit of advance preparation, it is called, “Extemporaneous Speaking.”
However, if there is a window of time in which to gather one’s thoughts and “put them on paper,” it can be useful to ask for help. I highly recommend it. In fact, I recommend, you contact ME!
I can help you by writing your speech, editing a speech you have written, or guiding you through the process of writing a speech. To see what is involved, go to: Speeches and Presentations on this website. Just click the link.
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Such Intros, Toasts, Farewells and more opportunities for you to have fleeting fame may be short, of medium length, or quite long. To help you see how the same ideas may be constructed differently to meet your needs, I’ll provide an example of all three – taken as excerpts from a retirement speech I gave for one of my former employers. It was a huge hit with a large audience, because some other speakers had done no preparation, and their remarks were a kind of scattered, hit or miss rumination going nowhere. Let’s start with the lo-o-onnngg Farewell, and then I’ll show you how it can be shortened to meet the time slot allowed for the speaker.
I’m giving you this example, because, if you hire me to write a speech for you, we shall have a FREE initial consultation about your needs. Then, or subsequently, you will give me all the details, and I will make it long, medium, or short, as you specify. What follows is similar process, although not all such speeches require quotations from well-known people.
A Really Long Farewell
This speech was about five pages long (to fulfill the required time slot). One page, typically, takes about a minute to deliver. Thus, this counts as a five-minute Retirement Speech.
The Retirement Farewell speech began with my introducing myself by name, position in the organization, and relationship to my retiring employer (Retiree). I mentioned having worked at the organization for many years and, thus, having worked for several of her predecessors. Knowing most of the audience was familiar with those predecessors (either personally or by reputation), I gave a brief, one paragraph mention to each, accenting the qualities for which they were most well-known: e.g.,
“Some of you will remember the tall, famous Retired Lt. Colonel…, who reigned over (the organization) from its inception for over 20 years. He used to cruise the halls, smoking his big, stinky cigars, and would call the (management employees) at 4:55 on Friday nights to see if we left early.”
After a brief description of the four people who had held my employer’s position, I then described her.
“Then, enter (Retiree), Stage Left….considerably more refined in her demeanor and dress, a lawyer, and from a university background. I imagine she found our ways a bit perplexing at first – as do all people who come from “the real world.” (Retiree) plunged right in, but, as an unknown author said, “Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.”
On a serious note, I want to quote one of the most famous “people” in the world. Kermit, the Frog, who said, “It ain’t easy being green.” Assumedly, it is the same (elsewhere), but it certainly is true at (our organization), that it ain’t easy being the Vice President of ….”
I then described (in bullet points) a very few of the primary challenges, which members of the audience shared or understood because of the similar pain they had undergone in trying to be effective in a large organization. Following that, I said,
“… Therefore, one of (Retiree’s) great achievements is that “she won some,” despite the odds. And, in any case, she diligently tried to persuade her colleagues of her point of view with an eye to keeping the (organization) fiscally sound and in order – proving once again that “It is not the size of the dog in the fight, it is the size of the fight in the dog!”
This particular employer was famous for having a very different world view from those of her four predecessors (and from anyone else we had ever met!), so I said,
(Retiree) does have a highly individualized and non-standard way of thinking. This poses a challenge to some of us and causes us to look in new conceptual directions. There are times when she reminds me of one of Shirley MacLaine’s famous lines. Shirley was discussing the right and left brain functions and indicated that “masculine” thinking is logical, linear, straight line thinking. But the feminine mind is “capable of holding two contradictory concepts simultaneously without confusion.”
Another way of looking at it (which applies to all of us) is a quote from the Talmud – “We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are.”
So, following another person’s thought process is very instructional, and it is wise to be open to new ways of looking at things. (Retiree) has an ally in George Bernard Shaw, who said, “The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me.”
(Retiree) has a quality which has been bred out of many of us, but one which served people like Albert Einstein well. It is imagination, about which he said: “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create.”
I am told (Retiree) was born in the Year of the Dog, according to the Chinese calendar. Her characteristics allegedly include being honest and faithful to those she loves, but she tends to worry too much and to find fault with others. It is said folks born in the Year of the Dog make ideal secret agents or business people. What a combo!
Truthfully, I have not heard (Retiree) do much fault finding, but I have heard her worry. Robert Frost said, “The reason that worry kills more people than work is because there are more people who worry than work.” But, that does not apply to (Retiree). She even admits to being something of a worrier on occasion, but one thing that is true of her is that she is a hard and dedicated worker. For example, if she has a meeting in (the state capital) and gets back to (our distant location) at 3:30, she does not go home. She returns to the office, even if she worked late the night before.
Under (Retiree’s) and our President’s leadership, some accomplishments occurred at (the organization) for the first time.”
I then listed some of the primary changes, that had occurred under her leadership, in one sentence bullet points. The foregoing covered her professional persona, but I ended the speech on a personal note. Again, it was one with which many audience members were personally familiar, having been guests in her home during the winter holiday season.
“We shall remember and benefit from all those things which will have a long term impact on our institution and on our (customers); but some of us will best remember the lavishly catered Christmas parties at her home. Having mastered both diet and exercise, she greets guests at the door looking svelte and stunning in formal attire. The two cats are held prisoner in the basement, while the who’s who at this (organization) and others wine and dine and blow air kisses across the tightly packed room.
Now, (Retiree) and her husband… are embarking on new adventures (overseas). (Retiree’s) tenure at (organization) can be considered a success, but we wish her more than that, because: “Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.” — Dave Gardner
My staff found a little poem for me to use in closing. The title is: Retirement May Not Be What It Seems
Retirement may not be what it seems.
Even though it means, “To tire again,”
To most of us it is the stuff of dreams,
Infinite afternoons of restful Zen.
Reality, like dreams, cannot transcend
Elopement into some quite other state.
Mirage or monument, all things depend
Eventually on memory for their fate.
Now may your memories of us be fair,
That we may in your re-creation share.
As you continue your life’s adventure, just remember, “Age is not important unless you’re a wine.”
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That was the five minute version. I it needed to be 2 or 3 minutes, it would look much like the same thing, but omitting details about other people.
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A Medium Length Farewell
I would introduce myself by name, position in the organization and relationship to my retiring employer. I would shorten the next paragraph, like this:
“(Retiree) is quite refined in her demeanor and dress, a lawyer, and from a university background. I imagine she found our ways a bit perplexing at first – as do all people who come from “the real world.” (Retiree) plunged right in, but, as an unknown author said, “Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.” On a serious note, I want to quote one of the most famous “people” in the world. Kermit, the Frog, who said, “It ain’t easy being green.” Assumedly, it is the same at other (organizations), but it certainly is true at (our organization), that it ain’t easy being the Vice President of …. Therefore, one of (Retiree’s) great achievements is that “she won some,” despite the odds. And, in any case, she diligently tried to persuade her colleagues of her point of view with an eye to keeping the (organization) fiscally sound and in order – proving once again that “It is not the size of the dog in the fight, it is the size of the fight in the dog!”
Under (Retiree’s) and our President’s leadership, some accomplishments occurred at (our organization) for the first time.”
At this point in the speech, I would insert a list and/or brief description of the major accomplishments that this person made.
“We shall remember and benefit from all those things which will have a long term impact on our institution and on our (customers); but some of us will best remember the lavishly catered Christmas parties at her home. Having mastered both diet and exercise, she greets guests at the door looking svelte and stunning in formal attire. The two cats are held prisoner in the basement, while the who’s who at this (organization) and others wine and dine and blow air kisses across the tightly packed room.
Now, (Retiree) and her husband are embarking on new adventures (overseas). (Retiree’s) tenure at (organization) can be considered a success, but we wish her more than that, because: “Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.” — Dave Gardner. As you continue your life’s adventure, just remember, “Age is not important unless you’re a wine.” (said with a salute or a raised glass to toast the retiree)
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That was the medium length presentation, which can be added to or subtracted from to make it the length you need. Now, for the “Quick and Dirty” Farewell Toast:
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A Short Farewell
I would introduce myself by name, position in the organization and relationship to my retiring employer. I would shorten the retirement speech, like this:
“(Retiree) is quite refined in her demeanor and dress, a lawyer, and from a university background. I imagine she found our ways a bit perplexing at first – as do all people who come from “the real world.” (Retiree) plunged right in, but, as an unknown author said, “Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.” On a serious note, I want to quote one of the most famous “people” in the world. Kermit, the Frog, who said, “It ain’t easy being green.” Assumedly, it is the same at other (organizations), but it certainly is true at (our organization), that it ain’t easy being the Vice President of …. Therefore, one of (Retiree’s) great achievements is that “she won some,” despite the odds. And, in any case, she diligently tried to persuade her colleagues of her point of view with an eye to keeping the (organization) fiscally sound and in order – proving once again that “It is not the size of the dog in the fight, it is the size of the fight in the dog!”
Under (Retiree’s) and our President’s leadership, some extraordinary accomplishments occurred at (our organization) for the first time. We shall remember and benefit from all those things which will have a long term impact on our institution and on our (customers); but some of us will best remember the lavishly catered Christmas parties at her home. Having mastered both diet and exercise, she greets guests at the door looking svelte and stunning in formal attire. The two cats are held prisoner in the basement, while the who’s who at this (organization) and others wine and dine and blow air kisses across the tightly packed room.
Now, (Retiree) and her husband are embarking on new adventures (overseas). (Retiree’s) tenure at (organization) can be considered a success, but we wish her more than that, because: “Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.” — Dave Gardner.
As you continue your life’s adventure, just remember, “Age is not important unless you’re a wine.” “(said with a salute or a raised glass to toast the retiree)
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These are just examples of how information and style can be used and changed to reflect your needs.
Please feel free to contact me for a FREE initial consultation, so that we can discuss your project and how to make things work for you!
Email: MyPersuasivePresentations @ gmail dot com.
Thanks for sharing Life with me!